If We Shadows Did Offend
by dj mix hale
Summary: Todd gets to see Neil again. It ends in the WORST way possible. Warning: death and potentially disturbing images and topics are contained within. Depressing.


Neil was standing on stage again. He was back in full Puck costume, looking just as gleeful as he did the first time Todd saw him up there. It was his ending speech, and the passion was just as prevelant this time as the first.

But how were they here again? Todd knew it wasn't possible. And yet, he couldn't help himself. He stood up from where he sat previously, not a single one of his companions telling him to sit down. They were all frozen, fascinated by Niel's performance.

Only Todd moved, trying to meet Neil's eyes. But they were focused somewhere else. Something else had captivated Neil's attention, just as Neil had captivated everyone else, and he would not take his eyes off it. A frown marred Todd's face. Slowly, he followed Neil's gaze to the back of the auditorium.

And there was Neil's father. Cold and unflinching. He stared disdainfully at the scene in front of him. Acting as if the play itself was pitiful. How did he not see how talented his son was? Todd wanted to scream at him, but couldn't get his mouth to move. So instead he turned back around to look at his friend acting on stage, left to wonder if Neil's dad had always been there, standing and staring domenearingly in the back. How Neil was unphased in watching his father, Todd did not know.

"So, good night unto you all." Neil said zestily with a rather lazy grin.

He stretched his hand out as he said the words. Todd stretched his out in tandem, as if that would bridge the far too wide gap between them and let him reach his friend. For try as he might, his feet would not let him leave from where he stood in front of his seat. So Todd just stood there, reaching out idiotically and futilely for his friend.

"Give me your hands, if we be friends." Neil commented silently, stretching his hand out even further.

 _I'm TRYING._ Todd thought silently.

It was then that Todd realized what had happened to the stage. So focused on Neil, he had missed the change. There was smoke. So much smoke. Black smoke, to be specific. It drifted lazily around his feet, with flames licking at the edges of the stage. Looking to both sides of him, Todd saw that everyone was gone. The same was true in front of him and behind him. There were only walls of fire.

Neil finished coolly, "And Robin shall restore amends."

Looking back to his friend, Todd gasped dramatically. For now his friend had a large gun pulled out and pointed to the side of his head. He was still smile like he had been before. But now it had a sick twist to.

"Neil!" Todd shouted angrily. "NEIL!"

A bang rippled through the room. More smoke began to spiral up. Todd hacked upwardly before blinking, trying to see what had become of his friend. He was gone. Todd could only assume his body had slumped downwards after being shot. Screaming in agony, Todd tried to stumble forward. Sadly, he could not. He could not reach his friend as the heat began to draw closer.

Twisting around, a face greeted him in the flames. It was Neiil's father, back again. His face was stone cold. Emotionless. Unfeeling. Apathetic. Uncaring. Todd tried to rip his burning eyes away from the sight, but he couldn't twist his head away.

Neil's father stepped closer, untainted by the flames that did their best to eat away at Todd. Todd grew weak in the knees as he saw what the man cradled in his arms. Neil, now only in his shorts, wearing the Puck crown. Blood poured from the wound in his head, coating his father's hand with wet, sticky, crimson blood.

Todd screamed questioningly, "What have you DONE?"

Neil's father held Neil out a bit further, his grim, emotionless expression never ceasing. "It is the school's fault. Mr. Keating's fault. Your fault. My poor son. You drove him to this."

"NO, YOU DID!" Todd howled shrilly, finally able to stumble towards his friend.

He ripped Neil from his father's arms, cradling him in his. The flames raced towards him, pain ripping at his legs. He held on tightly, as tightly as he could. Still, he could only stumble so far. Todd Anderson was running out of energy, and running out fast. Soon, the heat would overtake him. He was surprised it hadn't already.

"And, as I am an honest Puck." The voice frightened Todd, causing him to drop the body he cared. Todd screeched normally before anxiously looking around. Where had he gone? "If we have unearned luck."

It was Neil speaking. But where? Where had the body gone? Todd could barely see in the smoke, coughing with watering eyes.

"NEIL!" Todd called awkwardly, looking about wildly. "Where are you? NEIL!"

"Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue." Neil commented kookily, sounding further away this time.

"Neil?" Todd asked anxiously, trying to step towards the sound. He was valiantly, dutifully trying to reach his friend. "Neil, where did you go? How are you still alive?"

"We will make amends ere long." Sang Neil jubilantly, now sounding like he was speaking from behind Todd.

Todd turned. He squinted because of the smoke. It burned. Everything burned. He thought he was dying. Why hadn't he died yet?

Todd carefully tried to coax Neil out. "Neil? We have to get out of here. Where are you? NEIL!"

Neil cheerfully taunted with a wide grin. "Else the Puck a lair call."

Todd still couldn't see his friend. Stumbling forward, reaching out blindly, Todd ignored the flames lapping at his feet hungrily. He had to find his friend.

Furiously, Todd screamed, "WHERE ARE YOU? This isn't a game. THIS ISN'T FUNNY, NEIL! ANSWER ME!"

"So, good night unto you all." Neil loudly whispered ominously, and hands shoved Todd backwards.

Todd descended downwards, falling rapidly before landing against the ground. Mr. Keating stared down at him, eyes hollow and lacking of life.

"Mr. Anderson." He stated apathetically with a frown. "It's your turn."

"My turn?" Todd questioned reluctantly, confused by his teacher's behavior.

Standing up cautiously, Todd eyed the room. All of his classmates from English were there. The Dead Poets Society was all in the front. The only seat empty was his, as well as the one front and center. Neil was suspiciously absent as well.

"Where's Neil?" Todd demanded furiously, turning back to his teacher.

He stared shockedly at what he saw. Mr. Keating's eyes were no longer just lifeless. They were simply black voids now, black liquid dripping from them.

"Your turn to betray me." Mr. Keating enunciated zealously.

"NO!" Tom moaned sadly, begging for it to stop. "Stop. Stop. Make it STOP!"

And then, in unison, the class chanted woefully, "Oh Captain, my captain!"

Mr. Keating sunk downwards into the ground, and Todd whimpered pathetically before hopefully looking to the class. Perhaps everything would be alright. He nodded knowingly to himself, shutting his eyes. If he thought about it, it would all be normal. Yes, it would all be fine.

He opened his eyes, and was treated by a horribly horrific, terrible sight.

The entire class stood on there desks. The only one now missing was Charlie Dalton, Nuwanda, who had previously been in the last seat in the front row on the left. Even the two previously empty chairs now had someone in them.

In the middle of the front row sat Neil, the only one not standing on his desk. His feet were kicked up over it as he reclined, staring intently at Todd. Todd flinched at the sight of him, looking so normal compared to all the zombified classmates.

And in the back of the room, standing on his desk, was himself. He stood, staring in horror as everyone standing on their desk drew out a gun, positioning it by their head.

"No," Todd mumbled knowingly, guessing where this would go but praying it would take a turn.

"If we shadows have offended," Neil imparted cheerfully.

It was merciless. Everything was merciless. Todd hated it. When would it end? What would it take to end it? To make it stop?

"No!" Todd begged longingly, knowing it was foolish but trying anyways.

"Think but this, and all is mended." Neil clapped his hands together and pronounced the words delightfully. As he did, each boy's finger seemed to tighten on the trigger of their gun.

Todd sunk to his knees. Bleakly, he squeaked out, "Please, stop."

"While these visions did appear." Neil growled fiercely and titled his head. "And this weak and idle theme."

"Stop. NO!" He alleged frustratedly, gripping his head tightly and trying to maintain eye contact with Neil.

Neil merely tilted his head further and quothed sedately, "No more yielding but a dream." His voice grew more and more shrill as he spoke.

Todd mimicked his voice searchingly, trying to see what had happened to his friend. "Neil, what happened? Come back. Stop, PLEASE."

"Gentles, do not reprehend." Neil mimicked back, clapping his hands gleefully.

The moment his hands clapped together, each boy pulled the trigger. Down each one went, each blowing a hole into their heads and leaving Todd reeling, screaming, screeching.

"You MONSTER!" He shrieked queasily, stumbling over to his friend. "Why? WHY?"

Todd swore loudly at his friend. He didn't understand. He didn't understand! Each boy now lay slumped on their seats, and he forced himself not to look. He glanced behind him, meeting a red-eyed Charlie's gaze, before forcing himself to look back at a maliciously grinning, demonic Neil.

"Why?" Todd yelled wildly. "Why would you act so terribly?" He scarecely could believe his eyes.

Neil put his feet on the ground and leaned forward, smirking evilly as he opened his mouth to speak. Todd beat him to the punch. Literally. Todd's fist smashed into Neil's head, and both fell to the side, till Todd found himself standing over his roommate in what he now knew to be Neil's house. Neil's dad's office, to be specific. Even more specifically, the room where Neil died.

Out of where Todd punched him, blood pooled. A gun lay on the desk. Todd didn't bother to look at it. His eyes stayed fastened on Neil. Neil, his friend who had only wanted to act.

What had happened to him? Why did he deserve this?

"Why?" He begged frenetically, tears leaking from his eyes as he frantically tried to wipe them away. "Why, Neil? WHY?"

Neil's head twisted oddly, making it appear as if his neck had been broken. He grimaced happily and offered loudly, "The last words of the speech."

The last words? What last words? The last words of the speech? Puck's speech? Hadn't that been what Neil had been saying the entire time? What was it? He knew it. He knew he knew it. So what was it?

Right as Neil opened his mouth to say it, Todd managed to properly state the words. "If you pardon, we will mend."

Neil grinned at his friend. Todd froze. Why hadn't it worked? Why had nothing changed?

Falling to his knees, Todd cried furiously, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. It's all my fault." Neil glowered, and Todd forced out, "You left me. You left me! How can I forgive that?" Sobbing, Todd quivered, defiantly trying to remain silent. But finally, he softly whimpered, "B-But I forgive you, for abandoning me."

Serenly, Neil's wound disappeared, and he smiled peacefully up at Todd. "If you pardon, we will mend."

Todd sat up in a cold sweat, eyes flicking about the room wildly. He was back in his room. His dorm room. His now empty, lonely dorm room. There was no Neil. There wasn't anyone.

Neil was still dead, and Todd didn't feel any more at peace.


End file.
